Forgiveness

Seems like the Easter season always causes us to ponder anew the topic of forgiveness. As we approach Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter, we are reminded of all that Jesus suffered on our behalf and what He provided for us through the crucifixion and resurrection. As I have been considering all these things, my thoughts have taken a different path.

I have been thinking about the nature of forgiveness and what it really means to be forgiven and to forgive. I'm not totally sure that I have really understood how deep forgiveness really goes. For most of my Christian life (40 years), I've viewed forgiveness as the eraser on a chalkboard. Every time something is written on it, I've got to confess my sin and ask forgiveness. Then Jesus takes His eraser and wipes the board clean. Since I could never be sure that my board was wiped clean, I've lived with a constant since of guilt and recrimination. You've seen that chalkboard that, even though erased, you can still see the faint etchings or the powder left from the erasures - that's mine. The words are erased, but the chalk is still there.

I'm just starting to understand that there really is no chalkboard - only the one in my mind. The evil conscience that Paul speaks of is not a conscience that fails to advise us of our sin, but one that never lets us forget our sin, even when we have confessed it and asked forgiveness.

I'm also realizing that Jesus didn't suffer and die because God needed a sacrifice - we needed a sacrifice. We needed someone to take the heat and we needed someone to pay. God through Jesus stepped up to the plate and, in effect, said, "blame me - I'll take the heat and pay the price - you can let yourself off of the hook."

It is so easy to forgive others if we can see that Jesus did the same thing for them. If I can accept forgiveness for myself, I can extend it to those who offend me. Since I am "the chiefest of sinners," and all other sins pale in comparison to mine, I can throw out my chalkboard record for others as well.

So . . . during this reflective season I am asking God to deliver me from my evil conscience. I pray the same for you as well.