A dear friend's dad passed away in October. Another friend lost her mom just this last week. Other friends have shared about their aging parents and the decline that is occurring in them. I realized that I have entered this season of life in which my friends are starting to lose their parents. My heart aches for them and there are no words to comfort someone who has just become, in a very real way, an orphan.
My parents died when I was much younger - my dad when he was 49 and my mom at 67. I never really knew them or had the opportunity to develop a significant attachment to either of them. For the most part, my friends have meaningful relationships with their parents, and I know the loss they are experiencing is profound. I can't take away their pain. I pray and ask how they are doing and offer what little comfort I can. I am still praying . . . .
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Lent
So here we are in the Lenten season. I've been more interested in Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras, frankly. When I was a kid, I lived in a suburb of New Orleans for 4 years and looked forward to the parades and time off from school. I don't like jelly donuts, so I passed on the "punchkies." I like the party and celebration part better though, and not the ashes and "what are you giving up for Lent?" Also, I've never been a part of a local church that acknowledges anything other than Good Friday and Easter, so I've never given much, or any thought really, to giving up anything for Lent.
I was at the chiropractor the other day and someone said that they needed to find something for their husband to give up for Lent. She was thinking of the typical treat or "sinful" pleasure like chocolate or beer. I asked her a little about his personality, and she freely shared. I don't think this was my idea, but I heard myself asking her, "what about giving up taking offense?" She paused, surprised, raised her eyebrows and said, "Perfect! That's what I'll do." While I questioned any possible success at getting someone else to "give up" something at all, let alone something so unconscious and automatic, I wished her well.
Interestingly, I started thinking about the subject of taking offense, and how many times I take offense at so many little things - too many to list, if you know what I mean. So . . . I thought about giving up taking offense, not just for Lent, but permanently, for life. How many people would be set free from my judgments and need for things to always go my way? How free would I be to be at peace myself and be generous in my acceptance?
Since that day, I have been noticing, and mostly choosing, to let it go. That guy in front of me didn't intentionally cut me off in traffic and the pharmacist didn't intentionally keep me waiting - you get the idea. What an eye-opener! I also discovered how many times and in how many situations I judge myself. I am most offended by me. That may sound odd, or you may identify. Jesus was no dummy when He talked about our loving others as we do ourselves. If we are loving others poorly, we are probably not doing much of a job of loving ourselves. I am most judgmental when I am least happy with me.
So what's the answer? After all my musings, I realize that there is only one - His name is Jesus. Only He can transform me. I'm trusting Him to transform me as He has promised to do. I am so grateful that I am not left to my own devices to redeem and reform myself.
I was at the chiropractor the other day and someone said that they needed to find something for their husband to give up for Lent. She was thinking of the typical treat or "sinful" pleasure like chocolate or beer. I asked her a little about his personality, and she freely shared. I don't think this was my idea, but I heard myself asking her, "what about giving up taking offense?" She paused, surprised, raised her eyebrows and said, "Perfect! That's what I'll do." While I questioned any possible success at getting someone else to "give up" something at all, let alone something so unconscious and automatic, I wished her well.
Interestingly, I started thinking about the subject of taking offense, and how many times I take offense at so many little things - too many to list, if you know what I mean. So . . . I thought about giving up taking offense, not just for Lent, but permanently, for life. How many people would be set free from my judgments and need for things to always go my way? How free would I be to be at peace myself and be generous in my acceptance?
Since that day, I have been noticing, and mostly choosing, to let it go. That guy in front of me didn't intentionally cut me off in traffic and the pharmacist didn't intentionally keep me waiting - you get the idea. What an eye-opener! I also discovered how many times and in how many situations I judge myself. I am most offended by me. That may sound odd, or you may identify. Jesus was no dummy when He talked about our loving others as we do ourselves. If we are loving others poorly, we are probably not doing much of a job of loving ourselves. I am most judgmental when I am least happy with me.
So what's the answer? After all my musings, I realize that there is only one - His name is Jesus. Only He can transform me. I'm trusting Him to transform me as He has promised to do. I am so grateful that I am not left to my own devices to redeem and reform myself.
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