Love

I'm a "johnny-come-lately" for some of the dramatic series that are available on TV, and one of my recent enjoyments is reruns of Grey's Anatomy. If you've not seen the program, it's your typical medical drama that seems to focus more on the personal relationships between the doctors than anything medical going on. Last night was an exception to the rule. One of the vignettes focused on a man and woman, unrelated, one black, male and older, one white, female and younger. The two had been in a train wreck and were impaled on a pole facing each other. Both were conscious and in no pain, amazingly. As the story unfolds, the doctors discover that, of the two, the male has a much better chance of survival. Once the pole is removed, the female will bleed out too quickly to save, and she is more seriously injured.

The two patients begin to interact with each other as the doctors do their assessments. They are in a hugging position in order to keep the pole from shifting and doing more harm. As the doctors tell them the bad news, both of them begin to plead for the other's life, not for their own. The female winds up comforting the man when the reality of the situation is finally accepted. She will die and he will live. Later, just before the man and woman are put under anesthesia, she leaves a message with the head surgeon to relay to her husband when he arrives. She knows that she will be gone before he gets there. The surgeon tells the husband later, "She wanted you to know that, if love were enough, she would be here with you now."

I almost sobbed through the show. I was so touched by the complete selflessness of this woman. Her concerns were for the man attached to her on the pole, and her husband. She expressed no regrets for herself, and pleaded for her fellow victim. She knew this man for minutes and hours, not days, weeks or years. She gave without thinking and thought only for the comfort of her husband and this man in front of her. What an incredible example of the love of God! Selfless love. Self-sacrificing love. Not ooey-gooey emotions - just the rubber hitting the road.

I envy that kind of love. I envy the ability to give so freely - to give all - to sacrifice even though it cost everything. I over-analyze, and worry about consequences. I think too much about the cost. Few of us will ever be called to such a sacrifice as this woman made, or that Jesus made. I'm called to love the people that are in my life and that I encounter every day in my life. I get testy at other drivers and waiting in line, or things just aren't going the way that I want them to go.

Worse, I remember those whom I've failed to love - harsh words, uncaring deeds. My mother is a constant source of regret. She was mentally ill long before I was born. Life was hard growing up, and I focused far too much on how it affected me, and not nearly enough on how it affected her. Mental illness is a terrible burden to carry. There were five of us kids, and I know that she did the best that she could. It wasn't her fault that her love wasn't enough. She died almost 20 years ago, and all I can remember now is how she suffered with the burden she carried. I didn't know much about love then, but I do now. I have been the recipient of much self-sacrificing love. I cannot undo the past or re-write it. However, I am grateful beyond grateful that she is at peace now, and she knows love now too.